Welcome, Player One! You have successfully installed the hit new game Storm the Castle and the prize awaits you. To begin in story mode, begin here.

You enter the Kingdom of Chestertown as an ordinary student at Washington College. As a new player, your first step is to gain knowledge and XP by attending classes and forming guilds – called ‘Friend Groups’ – who provide emotional support. Tales of the Rose O’Neill Literary Castle and infiltration methods circulate the campus – eventually, a definite opening presents itself as an internship. Begin the raid!

Level 1: The Gate and the Test of Sight. The wooden porch protects the main entrance of the castle with white chairs placed so the watchmen can survey the land. In the future, once you have won the game, you will be welcome to sit at those stations with fellow champions, a light waft fluttering through the trees. You’ll name local bunnies hopping out of the bushes Hamilton and Marsha. For now, though, you penetrate through the gate.

Through the door lies the mural room, the Room of 1,000 Eyes – or, more likely, 48. Here begins the Test of Sight, where you look upon the faces of authors as they stare back. You search the walls, trying to discern the name for each face. As nothing comes, you begin to lose hope…until voila! You spot a hidden door with the names of each author. Satisfied, you endeavor forward. As you walk, you look forward to the day when you can eat pot stickers and various cheeses under the authors’ watchful eyes.

Level 2: The Library, the dreaded Test of Distraction. Here, they prey upon your love of reading. You could stop now, sit on the couch, and read one of the many books. You falter, taking a -20 HP hit! You regain your wits and press on, so that one day you’ll be able to appreciate the aesthetic of the bookshelves in peace. One day, you’ll gain camera skills and learn how to capture photos of actual book signings. You’ll soon practice conversational skills and speak one-on-one with modern-day writers like David MacLean, H. G. Carrillo, Lauren Russell, and more. So you advance…

…into the Reading Room, where the Test of Ascertainment awaits. Here, you will later participate in an official staff meeting, where you’ll listen, learn, and acquire the skills necessary to conducting a literary salon: creating a professional space, displaying kindness to all guests, and more. Here, you will attend poem and memoir readings. The Reading Room is where you will meet friendly townies like Joe and experiment with seemingly useless light switches. For now, nothing challenges you, so you march forward.

Level 3: The Chambers. The first – the chamber of the Mighty Armstrong – remains shut. Luckily, the second holds a checkpoint, the Lusby Lovely Chamber. In the Lusby Lovely Chamber, you marvel at the cute kittens resting among calming lilac. You regain your HP with the toast sprung from the mythical Topaz Typewriter and the time for relaxation ends. As all gamers know, checkpoints come before the harder levels – in this case, the final level.

Level 4: The Boss level. You faced and surmounted the previous tests in order to acquire the internship and obtain the final prize. In this level, you must vanquish the boss – in other words, impress him. You hit him with the traditional combo: charming smile and articulate speech. Press ‘Y’ a few times for classy jokes and swivel the joystick like a hammer throw to add in plenty of past experience and relevant personal information and…you’ve done it! You stand, shake his hand, and accept the internship.

You are then ushered to the holy land: the Conference Room! In the Conference Room, you will learn to use InDesign to create posters, digital books, brochures, etc. Here, you will improve your research capabilities by reviewing information about writers and future guests. Here, you will learn the basics of writing simple, effective, and grammatically correct questions for literary trivia. As an intern, you will improve your printing dexterity by creating beautiful broadsides and posters. You’ll also learn the inner workings of the Washington College website by posting event listings for the Literary Castle. While one duty will be to catalog broadsides and other announcements, this will be a learning opportunity for improving organizational competence in Google and Microsoft programs. With dedication and more XP, you will even level up to Program Assistant during events and execute tours of the castle (which feel both terrifying and oddly satisfying).

So, congratulations Player One! You have successfully stormed and conquered the castle. The prize, knowing that you have made a positive mark – your mark – on the Rose O’Neill Literary Castle and have grown as an editing and publishing professional, is now yours.